Crazy Egypt
by Mischievousliar101
Summary: Bastet, Anubis, and Wepwawet become friends, there is a war in Egypt, and the trio play truth or dare. Lets just say crazy stuff happen in Egypt.
1. The Funny Dare

Chapter 1

The funny dare

In a majestic temple decorated with red and gold walls filled with drawings of Egyptians offering stuff to their so called "gods" was chaos. Bombs were going off every second. It was a war going outside! Yet Ra's youngest daughter, Bastet, was looking quite bored. Uhh where is the trio when you need them. She thought. She had long, black, silky hair. Her eyes were a bright lime green color. Her robe was gold and white and it went all the way to her feet. On her shoulder was a tattoo of a black cat with Bastets eyes. Every gods was there even the beetle-headed god was there! Everyone was looking quite interested especially Sekhmet, the god of warfare. Then Bastet noticed something Where is Wepwawet, Anubis, and Hathor? They should be here especially if there is a war. Oh great they left me here to rot in boredom. Wait why does the beetle-headed god have a mischievous look on his face? She thought. Then a deafening scream was heard.

"Why did you put fleas in my room?!" A voice asked. Hathor. Defiantly Hathor.

"It wasn't me!" The second voice exclaimed. Great I found Anubis.

"Then why were you in my room?!" Hathor asked.

"I thought I heard someone in here." Anubis replied.

"Did you ever hear the saying curiosity killed the cat?" Hathor said.

"First of that was made because Bastet sunk Atlantis since she didn't know what it was then sunk it and people didn't know if she was alive. Secondly I have protective instincts so I came in." He replied. Now that made Bastet smile and giggle a little bit. Everyone sighed except the beetle-headed god who fell on the floor laughing. When everyone glared at him he shut-up. It happened every week or so that Anubis was always in trouble and that beetle god actually did it. At first everyone laughed then it started to get boring, so everyone got tired of him. Even Ra suggested throwing him in the sun.

"We will deal with him later but there is a war going on outside!" Ra said stressed enough that there was a war and now he had to take care of whatever-his-name-is. I know where Anubis and Hathor are, but where is Wepwawet? Bastet thought. "Psst! Bastet come here!" A wolf headed god whispered scream in the temple's hallway. Bastet quick to stop her boredom happily walked over. He turned back into his human form. He had gray hair and gorgeous blue eyes. He had a kind of goofy look to his face that could make anyone laugh.

"Where were you?" Bastet asked looking at his broken leg and bruises all over his body.

"I – stop laughing." Wepwawet said as he heard a laugh coming from Bastets direction

"Continue." Bastet said as she finally started to calm down.

"Well I started to follow Khepri-" Wepwawet started but was interrupted as Bastet blurted:

"So that's what the beetle-headed god was named! I'm the pharaoh's daughter and I don't even know his name!"

"-into Hathor's room then I left the room to walk and chew a dog bone, but I didn't noticed I walked outside onto the street. I heard a big engine roar, but I could tell by how the ground moved it was a huge truck. Then a big monster truck ran me over

"I need you to use your healing powers to help me so that we could finish our game of Truth or Dare." Wepwawet finally finished

"Fine, but you're going to pay me. Big time." Bastet replied.

"Eh I owe everyone gold, diamonds, and American money." Wepwawet shrugged as if it was nothing. Bastet closed her eyes then focused her mind on his injuries. Then she opened her eyes Wepwawet injuries were gone. She suddenly had bags under her eyes and the youthful face she had looked older. The playful look in her eye disappeared which was filled with stress, tiredness, and despair.

"Your injuries took so much energy. Can I sleep first?" Bastet slouched in an emotionless voice.

"Definitely." Wepwawet said worried that his friend was hurt or even worst. Bastet entered her room and slept. "In three, two, one." As on cue Hathor came out of her room and grabbed a beat-up-looking Anubis by his ear and dragged him to the bathroom. Hathor was probably one of the prettiest goddess. Her hair was dark brown and her skin was a milky brown color. Her eyes were a honey color. She had a petite curvy body. Hathor wore a beautiful red gown and she had bows and arrows on her back. Anubis had shaggy black hair and dark olive green eyes. His skin was almost honey colored.

"What are you doing, Hathor?" Wepwawet asked raising a brow.

"Oh, I'm just shaving Anubis' head. No problem." Hathor shrugged trying to get passed Wepwawet.

"I'll pay you if you don't shave him." Wepwawet casually said.

"You know you owe everyone money right?" Hathor asked.

"Eventually. By the way tell your husband Horus I said hi." He replied.

"Okay, I'll tell him. Bye Wepwawet." Hathor cheerfully exclaimed because she was getting money. She then let go of Anubis and watched him scramble to his feet.

"Well see ya. Your cousin Horus is going to be happy I didn't shave you." Hathor grinned. She then went to the meeting. When Wepwawet was sure she was out of earshot he said:

"That was, um, a rather strange, uh, conversation."

"Tell me about." Anubis muttered. They leaned against the wall just thinking to themselves drinking soda. Suddenly Wepwawet eyes widened opened. Then Wepwawet suddenly thought never leave Bastet alone. Bastet + alone = chaos! Wepwawet motioned Anubis to follow him. Anubis knew it was serious so Wepwawet and Anubis sprinted to Bastet's room which took them ten minutes because it was a huge temple. When they were close they heard a familiar voice (but not too familiar) yell for his/hers life. Wepwawet and Anubis opened the door to find whatever-his-name-is on the floor crying. His beetle-head was very wrinkly which made Anubis, Wepwawet, and Bastet cringe. Bastet looked better than before and she was standing next to the shivering body looking innocent.

"I kind of feel sorry for whatever-his-name-is. I remember when that happened to me. It traumatized me very much." Anubis said feeling his pain.

"So that's how you developed a fear of Ra's daughters. Eh, don't worry. Karma's a female dog." Wepwawet said nodding.

"Good times, good times." Bastet said looking in the air, reminiscing. Wepwawet was looking at the same spot in the air.

"What are you two looking at?" Anubis said confused.

"At my thought bubble." Bastet replied still mesmerized at her thought.

"I see it know!" The beetle-headed god exclaimed.

"What is everyone staring at?! There is nothing there! I mean come on people! You know what-" Anubis angrily moved his arm's where everyone was staring at.

"Okay! We've all been staring at that thought bubble for a long time! Even though it's funny we have to finish our game of *drum roll* 'Truth or Dare'!" Wepwawet exclaimed. Everyone nodded and went to the door. "Not you beetle-head!" Anubis, Wepwawet, and Bastet said in unison. He nodded in fear of what they would do to him then he transported out of Bastets room. The trio casually walked out the room and thought the exact same thought. Even though they are totally different their brains connected for one second to say one thing from a game that is so very dear to them.

Game on!


	2. Slave to Magic

Chapter 2 Slave to Magic

The trio was in the temple's courtyard. They sat in a circle looking at one another and thinking of truths and dares. A crazy-looking person came in with a whistle. His hair was light brown and his eyes were glowing red. His eyes were sparkling with excitement "You know the rules. Don't cheat, nothing inappropriate, tell the truth, and remember to have fun!" He then blew the whistle.

"Bastet, truth or dare?" Wepwawet said with a glint in his eyes.

"I choose, hmm, dare." Bastet replied thinking wisely.

"I dare you and Anubis to start fighting." Wepwawet said laughing because he knew it was going to be funny.

Wepwawet then motioned the crazy-looking guy over and whispered something in his ear. The crazy-looking guy smiled at what he heard. He then snapped his fingers and hollered: "Anyone comes up to place a bet between Anubis and Bastet?! Who would win in this battle?! Remember pay me, Set the almighty deity of chaos, American money!" After he said that the courtyard turned into a huge stadium filled with random people. Most people in the stadium ran over to Set to place their bet.

All of a sudden Set sat in the Stadium's announcement booth room next to his nephew, Horus. Horus had a head of a hawk. His beak had cracks and he wore an eye patch. Even though he looked like he has been beat up anyone could tell he was a very handsome fellow. They were both wearing business suits looking serious while the whole stadium started to cheer even louder.

"Now then, Horus who did you place a bet for?" Set said over the microphone.

"Well I'm not trying to go against my brother, but I placed my bet on Bastet." Horus calmly spoke.

"Everyone knows Bastet is going to win!" Set chuckled.

"Now then, let's see the contestants warming up!" Exclaimed Set. Anubis looked quite scared while Bastet smiled cracking her knuckles.

"Mama!" Anubis silently cried.

"Don't worry, Anubis! Just act as if you never met her." Wepwawet said calming down his friend.

"Fine, but you're paying my medical bills." Anubis mumbled. Wepwawet rolled his eyes as Anubis said this.

"Get out of my way." Anubis said gritting his teeth.

"What makes you think I will?" Bastet glared.

"Look, I don't know who you are but you better-" Anubis started.

In the background the crowd was going crazy! In the announcement booth room two angry, female deities that looked alike went behind Set and Horus. Set and Horus slowly looked at each other. Fear in both of their eyes as they turned around.

"Honey, how are you?" Set said nervously to the one behind him.

"Mom, nice to see you." Horus said in the same tone Set said to Nephthys to Isis.

"What's going on?!" Isis exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, dear. Do you accept my apology?" Set said in the sweetest voice.

"No. This is going to cost money." Nephthys said looking at him straight in the eye then took his money. The sister's then teleported out. "Ohhh!" The crowd yelled at Set and Horus.

"Be quiet, everyone!" Set said over the microphone.

"We had so much money! Now it's gone!" Cried Horus. Set and Horus patted each other as both of them cried saying 'My money!' In the ring Wepwawet eyes widened as he saw Nephthys and Isis appear. The trio huddled together as the sisters started to come closer. The trio backed up until they felt the corner of the ring.

"I can't believe we're going to die today this way!" Wepwawet cried.

"I have a confession before I die. Anubis-"Bastet exclaimed.

"-I dipped your dog bone in the toilet after Wepwawet used the bathroom and I-" Bastet said until Wepwawet said:

"Okay that's enough!" Wepwawet snapped his fingers then the trio was teleported in the middle of the Sahara Desert. Bastet turned into a panther and roared:

"I don't know about you but I'm leaving."

"I'm coming too. I've seen my mom angry. It's not pretty." Anubis said turning into a Golden Jackal. Wepwawet sighed then turned into a gray wolf. The trio ran as fast as they could. Nephthys and Isis were behind them floating on clouds.

"You know what-" Wepwawet then snapped his fingers again.

This time they were in the forest area of Egypt. The trio was in a cave filled with bushes. At the mouth of the cave you could see the most beautiful full moon you have ever seen. The serenity would just mesmerize you. The trio gawked at everything, taking in the view. They jumped back when Nephthys and Isis teleported there.

"Why were Anubis and Bastet fighting, Wepwawet?" Nephysis asked looking at the half-scared-to-death wolf-headed deity.

"We were playing 'Truth or Dare (immortal style)'." Wepwawet replied looking down. Isis motioned Nephthys to come over to her. They huddled together whispering something to each other. Isis then said to Bastet:

"You are the pharaoh's daughter so we can't hurt you; Anubis is my nephew, but Nephthys and I can hurt Wepwawet. Let's make a deal. Either we put all of you in a dungeon for all of your immortal life or we can make Wepwawet our slave for the summer. It's your choice. Make a wise decision." Bastet had a serious look on her face. She stared at Wepwawet who was on the floor with his eyes closed praying so that he wouldn't be a slave to Nephthys and Isis.

"I choose Wepwawet for your slave." Bastet said her face turning back to normal.

"Excellent choice, Bastet." Isis grinned.

"Bastet I would like to tell you something." Nephthys motioned her to come over. "Okay, what do you want, Nephthys?" Bastet asked coming over.

"Isis told me the future. So, goodbye daughter-in-law!" Nephthys then teleported out with Isis. Wait a second. Nephthys has only one son, Anubis! Bastet then felt something go up her throat. She quickly ran out of the cave to vomit.

"What did Nephthys said that made you vomit? Wepwawet asked in curiosity.

"Nope, I don't ever want to think of those vile words." Bastet replied shivering.

"You're like a little sister to me. Are you sure you don't want to tell me?" Wepwawet asked. Bastet nodded.

"By the way, why did you choose for me to be a slave for the summer?! I treat you like a little sister, but this is how you repay me?!" Wepwawet cried.

"Either dungeon to us forever or you being a slave to the deity of magic and her sister." Bastet calmly replied.

Wepwawet still cried.


	3. Sleep

For some reason the trio felt tired. Bastet yawned all of a sudden. Then Wepwawet started to turn into a gray wolf and howl.

"Great, just great, Bastet is tired and Wepwawet is a gray wolf because it's a full moon." Anubis mumbled.

"You don't have to take Wepwawet because he doesn't have overprotective sisters and father." Bastet yawned.

"True." Anubis said. Anubis and Bastet then teleported out. After Anubis and Bastet left Wepwawet turned back to normal. Time to see what Nephthys said to Bastet, but first I need to see Ptah. Wepwawet thought. In a snap of his fingers he was in Ra's temple. He silently walked over to a room that had inventions and gadgets. Eventually Wepwawet found a deity that was working on a weapon for the war.

"Hey Ptah, how's everything going? Also how's Sekhmet?" Wepwawet asked in a politely way.

"She's fine, so did you come for the powder that makes you come in people's minds when they are asleep." Ptah replied calmly.

"Yes! How did you know?!" Wepwawet exclaimed.

"Isis told me you were going to come so she said give it to you." Ptah replied simply.

Wepwawet looked as if he himself said the dumbest thing on Earth then he snapped his finger. "That's it." He mumbled finally understanding what Ptah said. Ptah left the room then came back with a bag filled with purple powder that was shining and that smelled of poison. He then, rapidly put it in Wepwawet hands. After he did that, Ptah ran behind a shield made of gold.

"Well, at least it didn't destroy my room like last time." Ptah waved off.

"Wait, what?! Are you telling it might kill me and the person who I'm using it on?!" Wepwawet yelled in panic.

"No, only you." Ptah said calmly. Wepwawet calmed down too since he knows how to use it and that he did it before.

"Well, thank you." Wepwawet said. After Wepwawet left the room he teleported to the underworld. He met Isis immediately after he teleported there.

"Why are you here, Wepwawet?" Isis asked.

"I came to see Anubis." Wepwawet said truthfully.

"Fine, you may see him." Isis said rolling her eyes. Wepwawet saw Anubis playing with the Underworld's Devourer.

"You play with an animal that eats hearts, yet you're scared of Bastet?" Wepwawet asked confused.

"What do you want, Wepwawet?" Anubis said.

"Want to go into someone's mind as they sleep?" Wepwawet grinned.

"Of course!" Anubis said high-fiving Wepwawet. They teleported in front of Bastets door.

"You didn't tell me we were going in Bastets mind!" Anubis whispered scream. Wepwawet rolled his eyes then opened the door. He put a little bit of powder on Bastet then they were sucked in a portal. They landed painfully on a tree trunk.

"So, what exactly are we looking for?" Anubis asked rubbing his head.

"Anything really." Wepwawet said looking at a memory of Bastet winning a sword fight with Sekhmet. They followed a black cat who was motioning them to follow. There was huge letters floating above them that said 'Precious Memories'. The first one that appeared was her birthday party when the trio became friends. The one to follow was when Sekhmet got married to Ptah, the first time she finally smiled. Third was when Bastet saw Hathor truly in love when she married Horus. No more memories came after.

"Aw, Bastets first precious memories are of us." Wepwawet said hoping that Anubis will get over his fear of Bastet. The black cat led them to another huge floating letters, but this time it said 'Guilty Moments'. The first memory was when Anubis tried to scare her, but she back flipped him and broke his back. This one made Wepwawet and Anubis confused. Why is she guilty if she loves scaring Anubis? Wepwawet thought. The next one was when she didn't talk to Hathor for a month because Hathor tried to hit Bastet with her love arrows. The memory following that was when she scared everyone because no one heard from her for six months. The cat meowed telling them to continue to follow. When they passed that one memory they saw that there were a lot of guilty moments Bastet had. Anubis, Wepwawet, and the cat passed many memories until they reached one section. The floating letters said 'Words I Would Never Forget'

"Excuse me, black cat, why does this section have the longest title?" Anubis asked. The black cat simply blinked slowly, purring. Surprisingly the section only had one memory. This one was more specific. It was in the cave Wepwawet teleported in. Nephthys was there telling Bastet something.

"Isis told me the future. So, goodbye daughter-in-law!" Nephysis then teleported out with Isis. The black cat grew into the size of a four story building. "It is time to leave Bastets mind, now leave. Remember my name. My name is Karma." Karma said in a firm voice. Another portal was there it sucked them to Bastets room. When they landed on the floor a huge thump was made. Bastet woke up then said wearily: "What are you guys doing here?"


	4. Truth

Bastet know stood up, confused at why they were in her room.

"Why don't both of you answer my question?" Bastet asked annoyed slightly. The two boys stood up, but Wepwawet hid behind Anubis.

"I said I was going to give Wepwawet 300k of gold if he teleported here, but he teleported me too so I'm not giving it to him." Anubis casually replied. Wow he is a great liar, he has to teach me one day. Wepwawet thought. Bastet seemed satisfied.

"I have five beds in here so choose one you like." Bastet kindly said.

"Why do you have five beds? Also why are your inviting us to sleep in your room?" Wepwawet asked.

"First of I like being prepared if I have guest and I'm spoiled. Second of I feel generous, but you have to leave in the morning very early because my dad is overprotective. Trust me he will hurt you guys without doubt." Bastet replied.

"Alright but I have to call Isis telling her I'm staying over." Anubis said.

"Wait a second, isn't tomorrow your first day as Isis and Nephthys salve?" Bastet asked Wepwawet.

"Yes, now can we choose our beds?" Wepwawet replied. Bastet nodded. Wepwawet chose a green king sized bed with an earthy look. Anubis chose a black, gold, and light blue king sized bed that had a mattress with back support. In the underworld Isis saw everything from her crystal ball. She grinned forming a plan.

In the morning, before the sun was up Bastet woke up. If they leave the temple at sun rise dad is going to see them! Bastet thought. She went up to Wepwawet then slapped him. He immediately woke up rubbing his cheek.

"Wake up! It's time to leave, fix the bed so no one gets suspicious! I'll wake up Anubis!" Bastet whispered screamed. Wepwawet then nodded. Bastet slapped Anubis, but it didn't work. She then got a vase, then dumped the flowers out, went to the bathroom and filled it with very cold water. She moved his head so it wouldn't wet the bed. After she did that she put towels under his head then dumped the cold water on his head.

"He's not waking up! Even I'm not a heavy sleeper! Well, not like him!" Bastet exclaimed.

"Try jumping on his stomach. It should work." Wepwawet said finishing the bed. Bastet stood up on Anubis' stomach and started to jump.

"Not working!" Bastet said frustrated

"Let me try." Wepwawet suggested. Almost immediately Anubis woke up. Bastet got off angry since he wouldn't wake up sooner.

"For some reason Bastet felt light like a feather." Anubis said wearily.

"Why didn't you wake up sooner?!" Bastet asked annoyed.

"That was the best sleep I ever had." Anubis yawned.

"Fix the bed before anyone gets suspicious!" Wepwawet exclaimed. After Anubis was done Wepwawet and Anubis teleported to the underworld. Wepwawet met Isis and Nephthys. Anubis tried to leave but Nephthys blocked his path.

"The first thing on my agenda is that you and Anubis tell Bastet what you saw in her memories, and since Anubis is my nephew he has to listen to me." Isis said. Anubis and Wepwawet hung there head knowing that they were going to be murdered at the end.

"Fine." They mumbled in unison. In a snap of a finger Anubis and Wepwawet appeared in the temple.

"I'm about to raise the sun so make it snappy." Ra said stressed. For some reason Ra is always stressed. Anubis thought.

"Isis ordered us to deliver a message to Bastet." Anubis replied. It wasn't totally a lie. Anubis thought.

"Fine, you may enter." Ra ordered. As soon as Ra was out of earshot Wepwawet asked:

"Can you please teach me to lie like you?" Anubis nodded then said:

"Why don't we teleport to Bastets room. It'll take years to reach her room." Wepwawet snapped his fingers and they were in her room.

"Hey guys! What are you two doing here?" Bastet asked confused that they came back. Both Wepwawet and Anubis started sweating.

"Well, Ptah gave me a special powder to see someone's memories as they slept. I used it on you." Wepwawet said. Anubis glared at him. Then the boys closed their eyes expecting to get hurt in some way, but something strange happened. The hurt didn't come. When they opened their eyes Bastet stared at them trying to keep her laughter in.

"Why are you two scared? I have no secrets to hide." Bastet simply answered.

"How about Nephthys saying you're going to marry Anubis?" Anubis punched Wepwawet. For a second Bastet's eyes went dark. Anubis and Wepwawet closed their eyes again, but nothing happened, again.

"Oh, that? I used that powder before. I hated when she said that to me, which made me never to forget those words." Bastet replied. Wepwawet yawned.

"Can I sleep on the bed near, the window it's the hottest place in the room." Wepwawet asked. Bastet nodded. Wepwawet stopped in front of the window and turned around.

"I think you and Anubis do have a relationship, but you two don't want to admit it." Wepwawet smirked. Bastet and Anubis started blushing. They stared at each other and smirked.

"You know what, Anubis? Lets show Wepwawet a piece of our mind." Before Wepwawet could react, Bastet and Anubis cornered him in front of the window. At the same time, Bastet and Anubis punched him out of the window.

"Son of a bit-" He hit the ground before he could finish. Bastet and Anubis fell on the floor laughing.

"That was amazing!" Anubis complemented. Bastet blushed a little.

"Yeah, you were okay." Bastet murmured.

"Okay, I was not okay! I was awesome!" Anubis exclaimed. Bastet laughed.

"I was awesome, you were okay!" Bastet giggled.

"Thats it!" Anubis playfully tackled her. They didn't notice they were on top of each other until thirty seconds passed. They immediately got off of each other. While this was happening, Nephthys and Isis were watching them in a crystal ball.

"I told you they like each other!" Isis whispered.

"I thought they didn't get along!" Nephthys whispered back. Isis just rolled her eyes.

"By the way why are we whispering?" Nephthys asked.

"They can hear us through the crystal ball." Isis replied.

"Oh, have you seen Set? He promised me he would be here?" Nephthys told Isis. Isis changed the crystal ball. Set was flirting with some girls. They each had a dress or skirt above their knees and heels. Isis saw her sisters mood darken.

"It's alright!" Isis tried to cheer up her younger sister.

"No it's not alright! I have suffered so much he made me tearless! Do you know how it feels to be sad and not cry about it!" Nephthys practically yelled. The two girls forgot the crystal ball was showing Set. Nephthys walked to the door. When she opened it there was Set. Nephthys pushed him out of the way and left somewhere.

"What did I do?" Set asked. Isis glared at him.

"Get out of my house! I don't want anyone like you near my house!" Isis exclaimed. Set left and lowered his head.

**"What have I done?" Set muttered. **


	5. Pyramids

The trio were back at playing truth or dare. The trio were back to normal except for Wepwawet who was in a body cast. Set was there too, but he seemed depressed.

"We have four new players," Set said in an emotionless tone.

"They are Hathor, Sekhmet, Horus, and Ptah." Set finished. Everyone sat in a circle. Next to Wepwawet was Sekhmet.

"Truth or dare, Wepwawet?" Sekhmet asked.

"Dare." Wepwawet replied. Sekhmet smirked showing her fangs.

"I dare you to catch this grenade." Before Wepwawet could react, Sekhmet threw him a grenade. Wepwawet caught it, but it slipped out his hands.

"Whats wrong with this grenade?! Its strangely slippery!" Wepwawet cried. Anubis face palmed.

"Here, let me see it. Sometimes you're such a baby." Anubis mumbled. Wepwawet threw the grenade at Anubis. Anubis tried to catch it, but it was so slippery. Bastet smirked and shook her head.

"Wepwawet, why aren't you helping?!" Anubis kept chasing the grenade.

"My body cast won't let me!" Wepwawet replied. Both of Wepwawets and Anubis' eyes shot to Bastet.

"Help!" They both yelled.

"I'm not an idiot. Everyone knows not to mess with Sekhmet." Bastet said calmly. Sekhmet and Bastet both highfived.

"So, hows your son, Maahas? I've heard he once became the prince of Egypt." Bastet asked Sekhmet.

"Bastet!" Wepwawet and Anubis said in unision.

"Fine," Bastet scoffed. She grabbed the grenade and it didn't slip. Both Wepwawet and Anubis were shocked. In a second, Bastet threw it to the ground, but it didn't explode. Instead, someone catches it. It was a girl with long, golden, braided hair. She had beautiful amber eyes.

"Mafdet," Bastet growled under her breath.

"Bastet, how lovely it is to meet you here." Mafdet sarcastically commented. Bastet felt her hands turn into a fist.

"Bastet, calm down. You know she won't do anything to you." Hathor put a reassuring hand on Bastet's shoulder.

"Oh, sure. Are you going to do what your older sister says or are you going to make your own choices? Ever since you were born everyone were like your servants. Your real friends are only your friends because they want to be on Ra's good side." Mafdet spat. Bastet shut her eyes tightly and golden tears fell from her eyes. Hathor and Sekhmet ran towards her and comforted her.

"Whats wrong with you?!" Wepwawet growled.

"Nothing. It was all Bastet's fault. Don't you agree? After her birth, all the feline headed deities were out shined by her, well except for Sekhmet." Mafdet replied. Horus and Ptah frowned.

"Actually, if I remember correctly, you weren't one of the most popular deities. You were only mentioned a few times." Horus said adjusting his eyepatch.

"Yeah, you weren't out shone by Bastet, you were just not popular. The other feline deities weren't popular either. Actually, Bastet gives them a lot of credit." Ptah frowned.

"If it wasn't for Bastet, most feline deities would be unknown." Horus continued. Ptah nodded. Mafdet turned around swiftly.

"Wait, aren't you the goddess of execution?" Anubis asked. Mafdet blushed a little and looked at her feet, twirling her hair.

"Yeah," She said shyly. Wepwawet noticed Bastet snarl.

"Hey, Mafdet, what happened with you and Thoth?" Wepwawet tilted his head a little. Mafdet snapped out of it and straightened up.

"He, broke up with me to be with Ma'at." Mafdet looked broken. Bastet quietly motioned Wepwawet to follow her. Anubis looked at them strangely.

"Why did you do that?!" Bastet said in the temples hallway.

"Do what?" Basket rolled her eyes.

"Why did you distract Mafdet from Anubis?" Wepwawet smirked.

"I told you already. I think you and Anubis like each other." Bastet twitched her eye. In a split second, Bastet grabbed Wepwawet's neck and choked him.

"If you tell anyone, I'll kill you!" Bastet growled. Wepwawet gulped and nodded, but he stopped for a moment and froze.

"Wait, so you're admitting that you like Anubis?" Wepwawet asked. Bastet took a deep breath and nodded. Wepwawet practically squealed. Out of nowhere, Wepwawet took out a sign saying 'Bastet and Anubis forever!' Basket giggled and facepalmed.

"You are such a fangirl." Bastet commented. Wepwawet gave her a lopsided smile.

"No, you mean fanboy because fangirl would be weird." Wepwawet laughed.

"Yeah, thanks, bro." Bastet replied.

"For what?" Wepwawet said.

"For cheering me up." Wepwawet nodded. Unknowingly to them, Mafdet heard them and was furious. How dare she try to steal Anubis from me! Her mind hissed. As Bastet and Wepwawet came in, Mafdet threw the grenade she had in her hand at Bastet. Bastet caught it easily. Mafdet growled and transformed into a cheetah.

"Mafdet, stop!" Sekhmet growled. Everyone looked at Sekhmet. Even the fight stopped. Sekhmet was quiet, until now. She then noticed everyone was staring at her.

"What are all of you staring at!" She roared. The fight then continued. Bastet turned into a king cheetah.

"Oh wow, a king cheetah. How corny is that?" Mafdet angrily replied. Mafdet pounced on Bastet making her drop the grenade. Anubis caught it, but it slipped out of his hands.

"Wepwawet, fetch!" Anubis cried out. Almost immediately, Wepwawet transformed into a silver wolf and caught it in his mouth. Wepwawet's tail wagged, until he tasted the grenade. Wepwawet spitted the grenade out.

"Yuck! It tastes like wine!" Wepwawet said. Bastet quickly caught it and ran with it.

"Oh, no you don't." Mafdet mumbled. Mafdet followed Bastet.

"Aww, we have to run!" Wepwawet whined. Anubis face palmed.

"You're the deity of 'opening the way' which means you can transport anywhere you want. Other deities have to know where to go, but you don't." Anubis answered. Wepwawet smiled and they transported out. They saw Mafdet and Bastet chasing each other. Bastet still had the grenade in her mouth.

"Which ones Bastet?" Wepwawet asked. Anubis face palmed.

"No, Bastet isn't the cheetah with dark stripes." Anubis sarcastically remarked.

"I wonder why she even likes you." Wepwawet mumbled. Anubis froze and his eyes widened.

"She does?" Anubis grinned. Wepwawet laughed loudly as he saw Anubis' tail wag.

"Aw snap, you love Bastet!" Wepwawet squealed. Both Anubis and Wepwawet were distracted when they heard Mafdet scream. Bastet was about to strike Mafdet until a lioness came up to Bastet.

"Bastet, I will take care of Mafdet." She spoke in a wise voice. Her voice was wise, but her eyes were scared and confused. The lioness pounced on Mafdet and they disappeared. Wepwawet and Anubis rushed to Bastet.

"Are you alright?" Anubis asked. The cheetah nodded. In a bright light, the cheetah transformed into Bastet. Anubis grabbed her and hugged her. Wepwawet squealed, again. The grenade Bastet had in her mouth fell on the sandy ground in the Sahara desert. Everyone was frozen and they held their breaths.

"Whew, for a second there, I thought we were going to become roasted meat for the lio-"

BOOM!

Before Wepwawet could finish the grenade exploded. Surprisingly, all the sand piled up and it made a pyramid shape. Two Egyptians on camels froze.

"Um, did you see everything?" Bastet asked. They nodded slowly.

"Well, we are Egyptian deities and this is a pyramid. It is so people can get pharaohs mummified." Anubis explained.

"And its in this shape so the dead pharaohs can descend into the sky with Nut and Geb to become a constellation." Bastet continued. Wepwawet tilted his head.

"Yeah, learn yo facts!" Wepwawet replied with peace signs.

"How do we know if you all are really Egyptian deities? Prove it." They asked. Bastet turned into a panther. She had a bored expression on her face.

"Roar,"

"AHH!" They screamed. Before the trio could react, they took off running.


	6. Random Stuff

The trio walked into Ra's temple.

"Bastet! Where have you been?! I've told you if you ever scare a mortal ever again, I will ground you for five years!" Ra yelled. Bastet crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"Make it ten, I don't care." Bastet replied. Anubis and Wepwawet were showing her hand signals to back off. Ra was about to say something, until Sekhmet ca in.

"No, Father, let her spend the day with me. I need her help." Sekhmet said.

Ra sighed, but nodded and signaled them to get out of his sight. Anubis and Wepwawet were about to follow, but Ra stopped them.

"Nephthytis and Isis said I can do anything I want with you." Ra smirked. Anubis and Wepwawet gulped, hard.

Bastet followed Sekhmet to her room.

"So, what do you need me for?" Bastet asked.

"I need your help." Sekhmet replied. Bastet stared at her older sister worriedly.

"Well, what is it? Spit it out." Bastet commanded. Sekhmet smiled weakly.

"I've been having stomach pain, vomiting, cravings, cramps, and headaches." Sekhmet mumbled. Bastet gave her sister a comforting smile.

"Just rest, it's nothing to worry about. This is normal." Bastet grabbed Sekhmet's hand and moved her to her bed.

"What's wrong with me?" Sekhmet asked. Bastet grinned.

"You're expecting." Sekhmet's eyes widened.

"Expecting what? War?!" Sekhmet looked around frantically. Bastet face palmed, but smiled.

"Let me put this in simpler words. Look, you're pregnant." Bastet replied with her hands on her hips. Sekhmet looked confused.

"How do you know? You never had children." Bastet sighed.

"I've never told anyone. It's a very deep secret." Bastet bit her lip.

"It's very personal, too." Bastet took a deep breath.

"It's-

"So, what do you want, Ra?" Wepwawet asked. Ra smiled.

"It's Bastet's birthday in two days." Ra smiled again, but this time with sadness. He shrugged it off.

"I need you two to make sure everyone is ready for her birthday." Ra continued. Ra stopped to make sure they were on track, but Anubis and Wepwawet weren't there. Ra face palmed.

"Yo, what should we get Bastet for her birthday?" Wepwawet asked. Anubis and Wepwawet were in Walmart.

"I don't know. What do girls like?" Anubis remarked. Wepwawet narrowed his eyes.

"Time to get the big guns." He said. Wepwawet took out his phone and went to his contacts.

"Hey, Anubis and I need help picking a gift for Bastet's birthday." Wepwawet rolled his eyes.

"Yeah sure, just don't put it on the internet." Anubis raised his brow and Wepwawet hung up.

"What do you not want on the internet?" Anubis said. Wepwawet's eyes widened and he started sweating.

"Um, nothing. What are we doing again? Oh yeah, finding Bastet a gift." Wepwawet sped off into a section. Anubis just stood there dumbfounded. A bright light shone in his face.

"So, you need help finding a present for Bastet?" Hathor asked. Anubis nodded.

"Well, Bastet is an independent, smart, mischievous, crafty, feminine kitten, so lets try the jewelry and perfume sections." Anubis eye twitched.

"Perfume." He growled. Hathor squealed.

"I know right! I can't wait to show you Katty Perry's new perfume! Bastet was always a Katty Perry fan!" Hathor dragged off Anubis to the perfume section.

"So, Sekhmet, what should we buy for my new little nephew?" Bastet asked excitedly. Sekhmet rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah just don't tell anyone. It's a secret."

Wepwawet sat down in the parking lot with his iPhone 7.

Text

Me: Hey, Thoth, since you were a god in Aztec and Mayan mythology, I was wondering if you could invite them to Bastet's party.

Thoth: Why?

Me: I heard they could party and, unlike the Greeks, they don't stupidly fight against each other, they don't open their mouths, and they don't have children with everyone they see ( the greeks embarrassed me in front of every mythology god and the Aztecs and Mayans are loyal XD)

Thoth: Lol, alright. I do remember when they told everyone your secret, though, that was cruel. Thats one reason why I don't like Zeus. Good luck with the party!

End of Text

Anubis sighed in relief as Hathor finished perfume shopping.

"Now, time for jewelry shopping!" Hathor said. Both Hathor and Anubis started looking at jewelry. A bright light interrupted them. Bastet came out of

nowhere and grabbed Anubis by the ear.

"Ow, why did you do that?!" Bastet looked at him plainly.

"I think you should be with Mafdet." Anubis face scrunched up.

"I don't want to. I don't even like her she is so uptight and she is so serious." Anubis walked back to Hathor.

"And if you don't mind, I'm going to get tortured by Hathor." Bastet walked to the restroom and leaned against the door and she was transformed into Mafdet had tears in her eyes.

"I guess it's time to tell Him." Mafdet teleported to a dark part in the Underworld. A shadow was covering a muscular figure.

"Have you finally do something useful?" He plainly said, raising a brow.

"N-no," Mafdet the shadow breathed deeply.

"Well, why are you here?!" He demanded.

"I just wanted to tell you that Bastet and Anubis love each other." Mafdet whispered. He looked satisfied.

"Perfect, it seems like you finally made yourself useful." He grinned evilly.

"Now, I have a favor for you to do." He looked at Mafdet.

"Get Apep, the snake deity, tell him to meet me here." His grin was even wider.

"What if he declines?" Mafdet asked. He smiled like a chesire cat.

"How can Apep decline his own son?"


	7. Gummy Bears and Nyan Cat!

The trio were back at the temple with Ptah, Sekhmet, Hathor, and Horus. This time it was Anubis' turn.

"Hathor, truth or dare?" Anubis asked.

"Hmm, truth." Hathor smiled.

"Tell me, when Wepwawet called you earlier, what were you going to put on the internet?" Hathor bit her lip and squeezed Horus' hand. Their eyes locked and Horus nodded.

"Well, Horus and I walked in Wepwawets room. W-we saw Wepwawet dancing to the song Gummy Bear. Horus got it on video." Hathor said. In the background, Bastet was laughing so hard she almost threw up.

"Can we see it, Horus?" Ptah asked.

"Sure, I almost died of laughter when I saw it, well if I could die." Horus plugged in his phone to the TV. The screen turned on and Wepwawet turned white.

In the video

Wepwawet was in a green bear suit. He was shaking his butt.

"I'm a gummy gummy gummy bear, oh yeah!" He sang. A whole bunch of music was playing. Wepwawet then turned to Hathor and Horus. His face turned into shock.

"No! Don't video tape that!" Wepwawet yelled.

End of video

Bastet was on the floor and so was Anubis.

"Oh my freaking son of a gun!" Bastet was crying.

"Alright, that's enough." Wepwawet mumbled. Anubis was about to literally die.

"When the fudge did this happen?!" He cried, rolling on the floor. Before Wepwawet could answer, the trio heard kissing. They saw Sekhmet and Ptah smooching. Everyone stopped looking at them. They then exchanged strange glances. Then, Seth came out of nowhere and hopped on Horus and placed a sword near his neck.

" I should've done this centuries ago!" Seth growled. Hathor shrieked.

"No one touches my Horus." Hathor gritted her teeth and kicked Seth in the you-know-where. He clutched it and fell on the ground.

"That's why I love her." Horus looked at her lovingly.

"Okay, guys, let's leave before we get involved in something." Wepwawet whispered, tip toeing to the door. Bastet and Anubis nodded, doing the same thing.

"Oh no you don't." Nephysis was at the door tapping her foot.

"Fudge this! I'm dipping!" Wepwawet was trying to run to the door and Nephysis ALSO hit him in the you-know-where. Both Wepwawet and Seth were on the floor clutching their you-know-what.

"Same boat?" Seth said. Wepwawet nodded. Bastet sighed.

"Why are we always involved in stuff?" She whined. Anubis nodded.

"Yeah, I've noticed it too." Anubis said.

"Um, I-you. Uh, Isis!" Nephysis stammered. She disappeared and reappeared with Isis. She looked off guard.

"What the fudge?" She mumbled.

"I-" Nephysis was interrupted.

"What is going on in here?!" Ra demanded.  
"Thats what I'm trying to figure out." Isis slipped out of Nephysis' grip. Ra was VERY disturbed. First of Wepwawet and Seth are on the floor, Hathor and Horus are watching a strange video, Isis was confused, Nephysis was nervous, Anubis and Bastet are acting actually normal(this is very strange), and Ptah and Sekhmet are making out. Now THAT was disturbing.

"Okay, lets all forget this ever happened and lets all leave." Ra was so serious that no one dared to break the silence. Well, except for one female deity.

"But I have something important to tell Wepwawet, Bastet, and Anubis!" Nephysis cried out.

"Oh! It's about that problem!" Isis gasped.

"Yeah, Ra, this problem is very severe, but we will forget everything that happened." Isis continued. Ra had a thoughtful look and nodded.

"Sure, knock yourselves out with those three." Ra shivered as the last word came out.

"Can everyone just leave!" Nephysis yelled. Before anyone could object, she teleported everyone out.

"Okay, now I've got a big problem-" Someone interrupted her.

"You got raped?" Wepwawet asked.

"No-"

"Oh, well you're fine. Are you pregnant? I noticed you got fat. Whose the father?" Wepwawet was about to get slapped in the face. And what happened? He did.

"No! I've got a stalker on my hand." Anubis laughed.

"Hah, I live with you! Trust me, no one wants to stalk you! Your life isn't that intresting." Anubis also got slapped in the face. Bastet was about to say something, but she thought better of it.

"Seth is trying to get back to me." Nephysis said.

"Oh, so this is a boy problem. Just confront him if he doesn't leave you alone then just tell his mother." Bastet replied.

"Thanks, in my opinion you're the most sane one in this group." Nephysis then teleported out.

"What was I going to tell them again?" Isis mumbled.

"Right! So I have a prophecy:

'The evil desert snake has fire in his command.

That fire will be the downfall of Egypt.

The wolf, jackal, and cat can defeat this evil.'"

Isis sat on the couch drinking a soda.

"What makes you think the wolf, jackal, and cat are us?" Wepwawet questioned. Isis facepalmed.

"Wepwawet, what animals represent us?" Bastet asked him very slowly trying not to punch him in the face.

"A wolf, jackal, and cat. Why?" Wepwawet stood dumbfounded.

"Because we are the ones in the prophecy!" Anubis said impatiently.

"Exactly, so you figure out on what this evil is and how to save Egypt. I will be with Osiris." Isis smiled mischievously at the last part.

"Wait, I thought Osiris doesn't have a p-" Bastet was interrupted by Anubis.

"Aren't you going to help us?" Anubis asked.

"Nope. I'm just here to give it to you. Duces." Isis left.

"What are we going to do now?" Wepwawet said. Anubis and Bastet shrugged their shoulders.

"I will find the wisest beast alive!" Wepwawet continued.

"Do any of you know Nyan Cat's phone number?"


	8. Greeks growl

"I can't believe Nyan Cat turned me down." Wepwawet cried. The trio where at the beach.

"Well, at least you have an unlimited amount of poptarts." Anubis said handing Wepwawet a box of poptarts.

"Yeah, and Anubis and I bought you a skittle cloud." Bastet ate a green skittle that fell from a cloud that was following them.

"Love!" A woman yelled from ahead of them. She had blonde hair, sea blue eyes, and a nice curvy body. She could've been the most beautiful woman on Earth.

"Just when I thought things couldn't get worst." Wepwawet mumbled. She jumped into Wepwawet's arm.

"How's my little Wep?" She cooed.

"Aphrodite, just because I don't want to get laid by you means you have to act like this." Aphrodite frowned.

"How'd they meet again?" Bastet whispered to Anubis.

"Party." Anubis shrugged. A man jumped out at them.

"Who said 'party'?!" He yowled.

"Him." Bastet pointed at Anubis and dipped.

"What songs do you want on the playlist?" The man asked. Bastet came back.

"Those Hoe's ain't Loyal." Bastet replied.

"Why'd you return?" Anubis cocked his head.

"Oh, Zeus is trying to flirt with me." Anubis' confused expression became anger.

"I know what to do." Anubis grinned. He held up a phone.

"Hey, Hera, Zeus is flirting with someone and- oh really?- I never thought that day would come- can you still hurt him- sure-in three seconds?- okay." Anubis' grin became even wider.

"Three, two, one." Anubis said. The moment he said 'one', the air was filled with Hera's screech.

"How dare you flirt with a nice girl! You can ruin a relationship!"

"Well, at least I didn't sleep with Hades!" Zeus yelled.

"You slept with more than one person! Io, Demeter, Themis, Metis, Leto, Semele, Mnemosyne, Europa, Ganymede, Callisto, Dione, Persephone, Nemesis, Thaleia, Alkmene, Danae, and many more!" Hera screeched with ferocity. In a distance, Anubis and Bastet could see Zeus storm off.

"So, why are Greek deity's teleporting randomly here." Bastet put her hands on her hips.

"I don't know." Anubis replied.

"Olympus is in flames. I caused it." A woman with golden hair and eyes said. She sure looked miserable.

"How?" Anubis asked.

"It's of no importance. We are all going to ask Ra if we could live in Egypt for a while." She replied.

"Uh, I hate Greeks!" Anubis muttered. A female deity walked up to Anubis.

"Even me?" She gave him the most innocent face.

"Cut the crap, Persephone." Anubis said plainly

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I don't want to be mean, but you're married, you slept with your father, and I've got my eye on someone else." Persephone looked hurt, but she left him alone. Anubis was done with this. He snapped his fingers and he teleported to the Underworld with Bastet and Wepwawet.

"I just want to be done with the Greeks." Anubis facepalmed.

"Same," Bastet and Wepwawet said in unision. All of a sudden, Wepwawet's phone rang.

"I got a text from Nyan Cat!" Wepwawet squealed.

"What does the text say?" Bastet asked.

"It says:

Nyan Cat: I cannot help you with the destruction of Egypt, but I can defeat the destruction of your happiness! So I delivered catnip to the Underworld. Now I must go and fart rainbows! Nyanyanyanyanyanyanyanya!" Wepwawet read out loud.

"How'd Nyan Cat know we're in the Underworld? Or get the Underworld's address?" Bastet was confused.

"Nyan Cat is magical! Never question Nyan Cat!" Wepwawet exclaimed.

"It's just Nyan Cat is Wepwawet's hero. He is everyone's hero." Anubis had tears in his eyes.

"True that." Bastet said.

"So, how do you take to the Greeks being in Egypt? That is if Ra accepts." Anubis asked.

"I hate it! I have more competition! First Anput, Mafdet, and now Persephone!" Bastet growled. She then stopped and covered her mouth. Anubis' eyes widened and Wepwawet squealed.

"What do you mean competition?" Anubis mumbled.

"Nothing, lets forget about it." Bastet replied.

"Do you like me?" Anubis held her hand.

Bastet started blushing. In a flash, Wepwawet got a big sign, it was white with red letters that said: Anustet! Wepwawet had a expression of awe in his face and took out a video camera.

"I am so showing this to the official Anustet fan club. This is why I am the leader." Wepwawet whispered while eating a cookie.

Anubis grabbed her waist and their foreheads touched.

"Just know I feel the same way." Anubis said.

"This is what I live for." Wepwawet squinted his eyes.

"Wepwawet!" Bastet growled.

"What?!" Wepwawet asked.

"You ruined the moment!" Bastet was glaring at him.

"I got a text from Ra." Anubis said.

"What does it say?" Wepwawet tried looking over his shoulder.

"He accepted the Greeks." Anubis dropped the phone.

"No!" Wepwawet howled. A man teleported to the Underworld.

"I got a package from Nyan Cat to Wepwawet." He said.

"Its me!" Wepwawet raised his hand.

"Okay, sign here and here." The man pointed to two places on a piece of paper. Wepwawet finished and the man disappeared. Wepwawet opened the package to find a bunch of bags of catnip.

"I love you, Nyan Cat!" Wepwawet yelled out of nowhere. He then fainted.

"What should we do to Wepwawet's body?" Anubis asked.

"Lets bury him and blame it on Seth." Bastet replied.


	9. Womanizer

Bastet walked out of her room and went into the throne room.

"Hey, Dad, so is this temple going to be like a hotel?" Bastet asked Ra. She saw most Greeks sitting in Egyptian thrones, except for Hera.

"No, they are only here for a while and their out." Ra replied curtly.

"Uh, I thought those seats were for the meeting we have later?" Bastet was confused. Why were the Greeks here?

"Oh, right. You can't hang around Anubis and Wepwawet. They're Underworld scums. I texted everyone, so they know." Ra said, looking at Bastet plainly. They tried to take her friends away from her? She stormed off to her room.

"I need some catnip." Bastet mumbled. Once she opened the door of her room, she saw Zeus in her bed.

"Hello, my dear." Zeus stood up from his bed. He practically had no clothes. A light appeared.

"Hey, Bastet, I know about the Underworld thing-" Anubis stared wide eyed at Zeus. He then marched up to him.  
"What are you doing here?" Anubis commanded.  
"To be with your beautiful lady friend." Zeus looked at Bastet lustfully.

"I know Bastet doesn't want you! You're a bum, an old haggard, and a womanizer!" Anubis growled. All, of a sudden Hermes came out.  
"He's a womanizer, womanizer, ugh he's a womanizer!" Hermes sang. He then jumped out of a window.

"I'm confused. I thought Wepwawet was supposed to be the random character." Zeus cocked his head.

"Yeah, me too." Anubis said. Bastet took a piece of paper out.

"He should be. Oh! Wepwawet's the funny character. Hermes is the random one." Bastet replied.

"Okay, where were we?" Zeus asked.

"We're arguing." Anubis muttered.

"Oh, right!"

"Well, surely she wouldn't want to be with a Underworld scum, as Ra put it in." Zeus continued. Anubis growled.

"Okay, look, Zeus, you can have this room. I don't want your germs on me. Anubis, why was Ra's new rule put up?" Bastet asked.

"Well, Wepwawet and I snuck into Ra's room and shaved half his head and his legs." Anubis leaned against the wall.

"Why do you and Wepwawet always do the fun stuff without me?" Bastet pouted.

"Maybe because we're the best!" Anubis replied.

"Stop lying to yourself." Bastet laughed. Zeus cleared his throat.

"Whatcha want, fat bum!" Anubis growled.

"I want you two to-"

"Anubis! That was an insult to homeless people!" Bastet interrupted Zeus. Zeus face palmed.

"I want you two to please leave my room." Bastet stared at him strangely. But this is my room- oh yeah I gave my room to that donkey hole. Bastet thought. Strangely, they did leave.

"Hey, Boss, I did what you told me. I know have every bit of Bastet's possessions in my hands." Zeus smirked, on the phone.

"Perfect, just perfect." He said. Over the phone anyone could just hear His smirk.

"Did Apep accept your...request?" Zeus asked.

"Of course he did, but he did say that Mother being in Egypt would make the plan harder. I don't know how. All I know is that I'll be in Ra's place when I strike the move." He hung the phone. Zeus stared at his name on the phone's screen.

"What will I be?" Zeus asked himself. Surely I won't be king. Zeus thought. Zeus thought he was correct. He had to be!

"Hey," Zeus looked up and saw Hera at the door way.

"I saw Bastet and Anubis leave. I also heard arguing and you on the phone. Are you hitting on someone?" Hera sat on the bed politely.

"Hera, is that why you're here? To nag me?" Zeus' voice rose. Hera rolled her eyes.

"Fine, Mr. Perfect, I just tried to help my king." Hera then stormed out leaving Zeus confused. She tried to help me? Oh, Hera, you were the best thing that happened to me. You tried to be nice, and I pushed you away.

"You're a womanizer, womanizer, uh you're a womanizer!" Hermes sprang out pointing at Zeus. Zeus then punched him in the face. Hermes swayed for a while.

"Dafuq was dat?" He said before falling on the floor, unconscious.

Wepwawet was in the Underworld with catnip. I wonder, when will Anubis finally have some courage to ask Bastet? I mean the whole kingdom knows they want each other! Hm, how will their kids look like?

"Wepwawet!" Isis cried. Wepwawet sprang up and ran to the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Wepwawet asked.

"I need cinnamon for the pie. Well, don't just stand there! Get some!" Isis practically shooed him away.

"Yes, O' powerful magic lady!" Wepwawet bowed.

"You bet your donkey butt I am!" Isis then turned her back on him. Wepwawet turned to go to the store, but he heard a knock on the door.

"No one wants to open the door, so leave. Like now." Wepwawet replied opening the door. Persephone was there and Wepwawet groaned. This was so not his day.

"Anubis doesn't love you! So, go home eat as much ice cream, hope you don't get fat, and crawl into a hole. You keep bugging!" Persephone looked hurt.

"Oh, I'm not here to see Anubis. I'm here to ask you something." She looked down to her feet.

"Wepwawet, I-" She was interrupted as Horus jumped in front of them.

"Hey, Wepwawet and stranger I've never seen in my life, did y'all know that Hathor is pregnant. Again." Wepwawet stared at Horus. He had to be kidding.

"Um, good for you?" Persephone cocked her head.

"Horus, have you ever used...um protection?" Wepwawet asked.

"No, it doesn't feel right." Horus replied.

"Boy, it better feel right unless you want Egypt to be overpopulated with your kids." Wepwawet snapped.

"Why're acting like that?" Horus said.

"The world may never know." Wepwawet then backed up to the door way and left. He didn't need to be bothered by either Horus or Persephone. Isis was enough! Wepwawet went to his adoptive mom's house.

"Hiss!" Wepwawet didn't flinch as a blonde headed woman jumped up at him.

"Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?" Her piercing green eyes stared right through him.

"I'm done with the Greeks, the annoying Isis, and this tick behind my ear!" Wepwawet listed everything. The deity rolled her eyes and pulled a big chunk of Wepwawets hair along with a tick. She then crushed it with her fingers. A big crunch! was heard.

"Well that solved one problem." Wepwawet remarked sarcastically.

"What about your friends?"

"I'm pretty sure they went to a bar." Wepwawet smiled and winked.

"Matchmaker!" She teased.

"I know right, Wadjet." Wepwawet grinned.

"So do you need anything?" Wadjet asked him.

"Oh shit! I need some cinnamon!" He was about to run out the door until Wadjet threw a can at cinnamon at his head.  
"None of my children cuss in the house!" She scolded. Wepwawet nodded and ran back to the Underworld. He assumed Persephone left and Horus went to his room to text his bae.

Isis was about to tell him something, but he gave her the cinnamon and ran out the Underworld. He wanted to hang out with his friends.

"Hello, are you okay?" Wepwawet looked up and saw the Greek goddess, Hebe.

"Yup, just bored." Wepwawet stuck his tongue out. She laughed.

"Ditto. Practically everyone I know is crazy or a womanizer. And by womanizer, I mean my father." She said. Hermes then popped out of nowhere.

"He's a womanizer, womanizer, ugh he's a womanizer!" Wepwawet stared at him blankly, then kicked him in the shin.

"Ow! What was that for!" Hermes then looked up into Hebe's dress.

"Are those from Victoria's Secrets? Those are nice!" Hermes then got punched in the face by Hebe.

"You should learn to respect woman, Dude. If not, look what happens." Wepwawet shook his head.

"Bruh," That was all Hermes said until he fell unconscious on the floor.

"He had it coming." Wepwawet tsked.


	10. Authors Note

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Hey! So, I have writers block -_- it fudging sucks. I'm not going to update for a while, but I will not stop this story! Okay, sorry I had an outburst there XP. What I was thinking to do is that if you could Private Message me for any ideas for Crazy Egypt and/or anything to make the story better. Please be nice, though! I can't tolerate rude people -_-(yeah I'm watching you).**

**Bye! Just remember:**

**"I'm a dude! He's a dude! She's a dude! 'Cause we're all dudes!"**

** -Ed from ****_Good Burger_**

**_ -_****Myths Rock**


	11. A Potato

**Author's Note: So, I'm a little hurt that no one wanted to tell me what they wanted to add in this story, so I'm going to keep writing. Just because no one wants to tell me anything doesn't mean I'll stop my whole story, so have a good day. Enjoy the chapter. Oh and if Mafdet is mean or insulting, it's because she's a villain.**

Anubis and Bastet were chillin' like villains in Bastet's room. Anubis spun himself in the office chair. Bastet was on her iPad.  
"Fudge nuggets!" Bastet murmured.  
"What are you doing?" Anubis asked.  
"Playing Five Nights at Freddy's."  
"How's it going?" Anubis said.  
"NO! FREAKING BONNIE! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN FOR WABBIT SEASON!" Bastet yelled. Anubis stared at her and kept spinning.  
"I wonder where Wepwawet is. He usually pops out of no where when we're chillin' like this." Anubis thought loudly. Bastet inhaled loudly and threw the iPad on the bed.  
"I got a text from him saying that he was doing Isis some favors and that he was hanging out with this Greek deity named Hebe. I feel as if he's using him. I don't know why, but the Greeks give me a bad feeling, like they are bringing danger to Egypt." Bastet finished, matter of factly. Anubis just stared at her.  
"Your bipolar. You were mad one second and mature the next." Anubis stated.  
"I know. Thats one reason why I don't have a consort." Bastet said sorrowfully. Anubis looked down. He shouldn't have said that.  
"Want to watch vine on your iPad?" Bastet immediately cheered up.

Wepwawet looked at Hebe she was fun.  
"So I was thinking if we could go out at and see a movie if you like," Hebe said blushing.  
"I can't Hebe I'm not interested in relationships right now." Wepwawet replied.  
"Oh, okay." Hebe whispered. Both Wepwawet and Hebe walked.

Mafdet bowed down to Him. His eyes were bright with delight.  
"Is it true?" He asked. Mafdet nodded.  
"Great. Now that Apophis has agreed then all I have to do is blame him for my...little mess." Mafdet forced a smile.  
"What will happen to Zeus? Hera is suspecting something. Her jealousy made her perfect for detecting if her husband was with a woman. It's like she can smell me." Mafdet mumbled.  
"Pet, shut up and relax. That stupid hag isn't even his wife. I mean in Greece one day she did screw Hades." Mafdet winced as He called her 'pet'.  
"How do you know that?" Mafdet asked.  
"My parents screwed that day too. They said when I was 'create', chaos happened. Which possibly meant Zeus was angry and he and Hera got a divorce." He explained. Mafdet nodded. All this Greek stuff was interesting. Well, most of the Greek deities are whores and man-whores. In reality, He was the only ally and friend Mafdet had. Sure, He was bosy, but he always has her back and Mafdet could really open up to Him. But of course Mafdet didn't crush on Him. He was a real prick and He always made Mafdet feel small. He was like a brother.  
"Aww, you think I'm a prick." He pretended that He was hurt. Shit… Mafdet thought. She forgot He could read minds.

Bastet and Anubis sat next to each other laughing. Bastet giggled when another Vine came on.  
"I'm in love with the coco," Anubis sang.  
"I never knew you were like that!" Bastet gasped. They both laughed.  
"Coco puffs are delicious." Anubis replied. Bastet giggled.  
"No, thats not what was wrong with it. You were supposed to be in love with the Bastet-" Bastet stopped herself and Anubis blushed.  
A long awkward silence followed…  
"Wait, I thought dogs couldn't eat chocolate." Bastet said. Anubis smiled.  
"We broke fudging logic," Anubis and Bastet laughed hysterically .

Wepwawet stood on a rock.  
"I'm fudging gorgeous." Wepwawet said as he narrowed his eyes. Hebe left, so he played with his 'Imagination'. Wepwawet gasped. A sponge was washed up with a starfish. It seems like the starfish let go of a brown bag. Wepwawet went over to them when he heard them say: "Oh no, how will we get to Bikini Bottom now?"  
"I can take you there." Wepwawet ran down the beach, gracefully. He was right. Wepwawet was hot.  
"Who are you?" The sponge asked.  
"I'm David Hasselhoff." Wepwawet made up the name.  
"Hurray!" They cheered.  
"So, uh wheres your boat?" The sponge asked.  
"Boat? Hahaha!" Wepwawet took them onto his back. On the way to Bikini Bottom, Wepwawet felt something stab his foot. After he got under Bikini Bottom, Wepwawet took the sponge and starfish between his man chichi's and made them rocket down to Bikini Bottom. After a while Wepwawet stood floating on the water.  
"Ya done good Hasselhoff. Ya done good." Then Wepwawet got burned.

Bastet and Anubis laughed as they finished watching some Vines.  
"How about we watch The Spongebob movie?" Bastet said.  
"The forbidden movie!" Anubis gasped.  
They grinned at each other and started watching the movie on Bastet's 50' tv.

Mafdet was so confused. For calling Him a prick, she gets to be trapped in her room. Mafdet knew they called Him worse, like Apophis wannabe son. At least Mafdet boosted up His self esteem. Now, she's here stuck in her room just because she decided He was a prick at times. Now for being a supporting friend, He uses His powers to trap her in her room. Gosh, she wanted to punch Him until His eyes, nose, and head bleed, but of course Mafdet was supportive, anyway. What a wonderful friend she is.

Anubis and Bastet gasped when they saw Wepwawet as David Hasselhoff. In the end, of course David Hasselhoff got burned. Anubis and Bastet bagged the fudge up!  
"My Gosh, is that Wepwawet?!" Anubis was rollin'. Bastet did the same.  
"They see me rollin' they hatin'." Bastet sung.  
Wepwawet came in the room, burnt. That made Bastet and Anubis laugh even more.  
"If y'all wanna laugh, watch Vines." Wepwawet growled.  
"We did." Bastet squeaked.  
"Fine." Wepwawet mumbled. Out of no where, Wepwawet got a potato. He threw it across the room.  
"A potato flew around the room." Wepwawet said, grumpy.

Mafdet looked at her room's ceiling. She threw a rock at it over and over again. She was bored! _Life…_ she thought it was hard, so she got her iPhone and started searching up Vines. Vines, they were life. Mafdet felt something on rubbing against her legs. It was her pet Cheetah, Cheeto. Mafdet petted him and continued watching the Vines. One was called 'What girls think/act' Mafdet didn't really care about the title since it was stereotyping woman. Another one was about a chicken dancing on a pole. If some mortals couldn't do that, than how can a chicken do that?! It broke logic! That is horrible! And it's also showing how women sell their bodies. Mafdet didn't like that. In Egypt, the women were prideful and loyal. Sure they danced, but they did it will ALL their clothes on. How mortals do it these days… it's just unacceptable.

"So what are you thinking about?" Mafdet turned around and saw Heka. He was basically the doctor in Egypt.

"Why are you here?" Mafdet asked.

"I'm the doctor, so I have to make sure everyone is feeling alright." He shuffled professionally with his head high.

"Are you feeling alright?" Heka continued. Mafdet looked at him in disbelief. Did someone in this world finally care?

"Well I have been feeling dow-"

"Let me stop you there. I know how you're feeling so I shall give you the remedy." Heka interrupted her.

He grabbed a potato and threw it.

"A potato flew around the room."


End file.
